So it's snowing, and not just a little bit. Holy Snow Batman. I'm stressed and I can't put a finger on why. Nothing is going wrong per se, but I feel like my life is getting ahead of me. Job is busy, the boyfriend is fine, christmas is fast approaching and I'm totally unprepared, I'm broke, I'm sleeping better, I'm totally recovered from surgery. I dunno. For some reason I feel a step behind. Like I'm missing something, or am just always playing catch up. Blegh. I keep groping for something that is totally under my control. I keep finding nothing. What am I to do?
I went to see Philip's band play on Friday. Watching him play a kickin' drum solo was incredibly hot. Watching his band perform in general made me feel the desire to perform, made me consider singing in public for the first time in a long time. Philip and one of the neighbor boys Dustin have both said they'd let me be the singer of their band (lol) maybe I'd like that. In theory anyway it sounds fun.
So looks like I am going to get to see my grandparents and my dads new grandbaby for xmas this year. Well I guess the grandbaby isn't so new, she's almost a year now I think. But it'll be the first time I've met her. She's not related to me really she's my stepbrother's daughter. Which makes her my step-niece I guess. I'm a step-aunt! Anyway, I don't have anything to give these people, and there will be so many of them. I feel like hiding away this xmas... I feel so guilty I cant shower the people I love and care about in gifts. But I know christmas isn't about that, it's about family and friends and gathering and all that. and no one is going to care if I didn't get them something. But I still feel bad. Especially about Philip. He spent a bunch on me and I have nothing to give except sexual favors... grand.
Anyway I have stuff to get done, I just wanted to wish everyone out there on the interwebs a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday whichever they'd prefer. I hope you all have a wonderful season filled with love and laughter and let face it lots of cool stuff. And cookies, hells yeah seasonally influenced and appropriate cookies.
Much love all.
Mood: Contemplative and frazzled
Music: "I Get Around" - Dragonette
Quote of the Day: "I've been BEAR MACED!" - Kevin and Dustin about the time they got bear maced.
If I Die Tomorrow: I hope there's snow when they spread my ashes.
I am Thankful For: The grace of the universe.
Post Title From: "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" - John Lennon
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